


we could be (golden)

by livtontea



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: ?? vaguely, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Wendimoor, short n sweet..., theyre both stupid idiots with bad coping skills
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:00:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24583441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livtontea/pseuds/livtontea
Summary: “You know,” says Dirk, face down on the straw-covered ground. “You should leave me.”“What?” Todd turns from the entrance, the sun’s rays highlighting him from behind, like a full-body halo.
Relationships: Todd Brotzman/Dirk Gently
Comments: 11
Kudos: 84





	we could be (golden)

**Author's Note:**

> summery-captain asked:
>
>> "And where do I go?", brotzly, todd at dirk telling him he should abandon him (angsty i know but maybe u could make a happy ending? Like a love confession idk,,,, if you don't want to that's fine too :0
> 
> benjie i love u here is!! le drabbel!! i hope u like it :0 <33 i completely noped out in the memory department so i had NO idea if this happened in the show at all and if it did when/where it was... so i just kinda went w my fancy nfkhsgdfvc 

“You know,” says Dirk, face down on the straw-covered ground. “You should leave me.”

“What?” Todd turns from the entrance, the sun’s rays highlighting him from behind, like a full-body halo. “What do you mean, I should leave you? Dirk, what are you talking about, get up, come on. We have to go.”

Dirk heaves a sigh, a weary thing, rolling over onto his back and flinging out an arm. The cold from the stone floor seeps into his skin through his jacket. “I mean exactly that,” he says, eyes straining to look at Todd without moving his head. “Go. Leave me.”

“So, what, you want me to just—” sputters Todd, “to just leave you?”

“Yes,” says Dirk. “Exactly. I knew you’d understand.”

“Wh—Dirk, no! I’m—I’m your assistant, we’re _partners,_ I’m not going to just leave you! It’s dangerous, we don’t know what’s out there, someone could—someone probably _is_ going to try to hurt us. Try to hurt _you._ If we’re together, I can at least—I’ll at least know you’re okay.”

“Am I?” mutters Dirk. It’s quiet, quiet enough he doesn’t think Todd hears him. Evidently, he’s wrong. (Wrong, wrong, wrong—when was the last time he got anything _right?_ Ugh, he’s hopeless, this is all _hopeless,_ why did he think he could do this?)

“Well, maybe you’re, not _okay,_ now, not completely, but Dirk, are any of us? Shit has happened, yeah, I know, and it—it fucking _sucks,_ but we—you—you can’t just give up now! You can’t just give up. You’re not a quitter, Dirk, I know you’re not.”

“Oh, yeah,” says Dirk. “Because you just know _so_ much about me.” It’s not fair of him, he knows—to take out all of this _mess_ inside his head on his—his _friend,_ his first and one of his only _friends,_ and it’s _Todd,_ who Dirk wants to be something _more_ with, maybe, but he’s festering in his own misery, and he just doesn’t _care_ right now.

“What?” says Todd, wounded, and Dirk almost apologizes for his words. Almost. But not quite. “Dirk, what are you—what are you _talking_ about? We’re _partners,_ Dirk. We started this _together,_ we’re _doing this_ together _._ You can’t just tell me to _leave you!_ ”

“Well why not? I’m just dead weight, Todd. I’d just slow you down. Hell, I’m slowing you down right now, which I _wouldn’t_ if you’d just _go on without me._ ”

“I’m not fucking leaving you!”

“Well you should!” yells Dirk. “You—you should, I’m a monster and a liar and I’m always fucking _wrong_ anyway! I’m not an _asset_ , Todd, I’m just—I’m a _hindrance._ A liability. So I’m not going anywhere, and if you want to waste time trying to convince me otherwise instead of saving the world, or whatever—be my guest.”

“Shut up,” says Todd. “Shut up, you’re such an _asshole,_ shut _up!_ ”

“Tick, tock,” says Dirk. He flings his other arm out, laying spread out on the floor like a marionette with torn strings. “Do you think Amanda is going to last long without outside interference?”

“God,” chokes out Todd. “Jesus— _fuck,_ Dirk, I know you’re hurting, but do you ever—do you ever think ‘hey, maybe I _shouldn’t_ say the most fucking low-blow thing I can think of right now? Maybe I shouldn’t fucking—’” he cuts himself off, rubbing at his face. “Fuck you, asshole. I thought—”

“Oh, what _ever,_ Todd. Go on, save your sister, save the day, redeem yourself for the crimes you’ve convinced yourself you have committed. I’m staying. Right. Here.”

 _“And where do I go?”_ shouts Todd. “If you’re here, what am _I supposed to_ —fuck you! God, I can’t believe I ever thought you’d—”

Dirk thinks there’s a very real possibility that Todd will walk over here and stomp as hard as he can on his fingers. Or his face. Maybe his stomach? No, no, Todd isn’t cruel enough for that, he’ll probably settle for Dirk’s fingers.

Then the phrasing catches up to Dirk.

“Thought I’d what?”

Todd remains angrily silent, fiddling with the gun strapped to his waist. Dirk pulls himself into a sitting position, crossing his legs in front of him as he faces Todd.

“Thought I’d _what,_ Todd?”

“It doesn’t matter,” hisses his (ex-?) assistant. “It doesn’t matter, because now I know you just _don’t give a shit_ about what other people feel, isn’t that _right?_ ”

Dirk winces at that, but, well, he deserves it. “...Feel? Todd, do you—?”

“Yeah,” bites out Todd, eyes shining wet. “ _Yeah,_ asshole, I was the idiot stupid enough to _fall_ for you. Someone I’ve known for like, two weeks, and you were _kidnapped_ after one of them and I had to go on a fucking _rescue road trip_ to—you know what, fuck you, I don’t owe you my sob story, you’ve heard enough of it already. I’m leaving. Without you, since that’s so clearly what you want. Good _bye.”_

Todd turns away, halo-ed once more, and Dirk keeps running through the words inside his head. “Fall for him.” Does that—could it…? No, it _can’t_ be, because—but Dirk—

“Wait!”

Todd turns around with a sharp glare. _“What?”_

“Me too,” Dirk says hastily. “Me too, I feel, erm, like _that_ too. Me too.”

Todd scans him with a cold but warming gaze, still visibly angry, but maybe, possibly, willing to forgive. For a moment, Dirk feels a flicker of _hope_ —but Todd turns back around, and he knows: he’s gone and fucked this up beyond repair. _Again._ Christ, he really is a fool, isn’t he?

But—

“Then prove it, asshole.”

Dirk scrambles to his feet. “Really?”

“Yeah. Come on. Prove it to me.”

Dirk nods, even though Todd can’t see. “Okay,” he says. “I’m sorry. I’ll do my best to—to prove it.”

They walk out of the room together, bathed in light. For the first time in what feels like forever, Dirk’s mouth is flooded with the taste of _hope._

**Author's Note:**

> im on tumblr @peachygos and @farahblack! thanks for reading, if u liked it comments are much appreciated! <3


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